Sunday, October 4, 2009

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know, everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold....

This Kid Cudi song makes so much sense to me right now:
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night.
I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin’ my thing
Rollin the Midwest side and out livin’ my life getting’ out dreams
People told me slow my road I'm screaming out fuck that
Imma do just what I want lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back
if I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest
if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.

Tell me what you know about dreamin’ dreamin’
you don't really know about nothin’ nothin’
tell me what you know about them night terrors every night
5 am, cold sweats wakin’ up to the skies
tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin’
you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good

My fucking AMAZING friends back home made me a video today to cheer me up. It brought a tear to my eye and a smile to my face. I fucking love them so much and I miss them more than anything. I'm still having a tough time here and I've definitely been having my ups and downs. This is without a doubt a learning experience for me, I'm learning to cope with the low times. The last few years I've been the happiest of happy people, I had the whole world in my hands, I felt.... wait I KNEW that I could do whatever I wanted, I could have whatever I wanted. I was unstoppable. I had an enviable life. I busted my ass to get where I was and I was happy. I never realized it till now how good I had it. Although it lacked adventure (some would argue this) so now here I am, living in Turkey, sad. But I asked for this, and I was given this opportunity for a reason. I WANTED this, I CHOSE this so now I have to live with it. I'm not going to take the easy way out, I'm not ready to give up. I have Can't Stop Won't Stop TATTOOED on my wrists for a reason. It's gotten me this far in my mere 24 nearly 25 years on this planet and it's going to get me even further in the next 25 years to come.

FUCK YOU WORLD FOR TRYING TO DRAG ME DOWN.

I'm going to kick the shit out of this life and have the most amazing time doing it. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know, everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. Damn Cudi, you're brilliant.