Why am I still thinking about him? It's been hours, days, weeks.... even months.....
I miss you.
Also, Partie Traumatic by Black Kids is an awesome album, GET IT.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
There's a ghost in me, who wants to say I'm sorry.... it doesn't mean I'm sorry...
I'm still trying hard to understand this life, and it becomes a bit more of a struggle everyday. My views on society in a general have been negative lately. I'm not entirely sure what has caused this change in my thought process but I seem to be continually getting a little angrier and frustrated with the things I see and the people I meet. It's bringing out the bad in me, I seem to be starting shit with people left and right. If I see or hear something I don't like I'll call it out. I've been told I should stay out of the business of others because who the fuck am I to say what is right and what is wrong? But how am I benefitting society by keeping my mouth shut when I hear some dude calling his wife a stupid bitch, or if I see a mother beating the shit out of her child, or some stupid mother fucker calling someone a 'nigger?' I've heard that if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem. So stand up for what's right.
If you're in a shitty relationship, GET OUT. I've heard it from a million people in the last month, how unhappy they are with their current boyfriend/girlfriend. I know it's easier said than done, but if you truly know in your heart that it isn't right, GET THE FUCK OUT. If you're stressed out about your current situation it means it isn't right, stress is a warning sign to your brain. I can't understand this fear of being alone. And yes, it is true, there are some nights when I wished I had someone, but learning from failed relationship after another, staying in a destructive partnership is only going to hurt more than being alone. Think about it this way, you don't have to fight anyone for the covers, you can stretch out when you wake up first thing in the morning, if you feel like getting in the car and driving across the country you don't need anybody's permission, you won't feel guilty about spending $500 on an XBox and all the neccessary accessories (you know what I'm talking about), you can watch He-Man or Rad before you go to bed and there is nobody to fight you for the remote. Singledom is not that bad, embrace it! BUT, if you are in a loving relationship I commend you because it's tough.
Routine is boring. Fight boredom.
I saw the Dark Knight today, Christian Bale is surprisingly hunky.
Songs to check out:
Ghosts by Ladytron
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You by Black Kids
Lolita by Throw Me the Statue
Sexy Results by Death From Above 1979
GfC by Albert Hammond Jr.
If you're in a shitty relationship, GET OUT. I've heard it from a million people in the last month, how unhappy they are with their current boyfriend/girlfriend. I know it's easier said than done, but if you truly know in your heart that it isn't right, GET THE FUCK OUT. If you're stressed out about your current situation it means it isn't right, stress is a warning sign to your brain. I can't understand this fear of being alone. And yes, it is true, there are some nights when I wished I had someone, but learning from failed relationship after another, staying in a destructive partnership is only going to hurt more than being alone. Think about it this way, you don't have to fight anyone for the covers, you can stretch out when you wake up first thing in the morning, if you feel like getting in the car and driving across the country you don't need anybody's permission, you won't feel guilty about spending $500 on an XBox and all the neccessary accessories (you know what I'm talking about), you can watch He-Man or Rad before you go to bed and there is nobody to fight you for the remote. Singledom is not that bad, embrace it! BUT, if you are in a loving relationship I commend you because it's tough.
Routine is boring. Fight boredom.
I saw the Dark Knight today, Christian Bale is surprisingly hunky.
Songs to check out:
Ghosts by Ladytron
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You by Black Kids
Lolita by Throw Me the Statue
Sexy Results by Death From Above 1979
GfC by Albert Hammond Jr.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I can't seem to leave a mark on you, but you cut me deep....
There are so many things that I can't understand when they seem so simple.
Good news, Stampede is OVER for another year. That's a happy thought. However, I loved the Bell Rodeo X, Lance Mosley is one hot man, he looks good on a BMX.... very good.
So I've been relatively angry this week. I hate the Stampede because people are complete fucking assholes during these 10 days. Just because you put on a fucking cowboy hat and a pair of cowboy boots, it does not excuse you from your actions. You are still NOT a cowboy/cowgirl, you just look the part. It is still not ok to drink and drive and it is still not ok to have unprotected sex and it is still not ok to start random fights with people. All this shit seems to happen in excess during these 10 days though. Here's an idea for Stampede 2009, don't be such an asshole.
I also hate the Stampede because every bar is lined up for 10 blocks and it costs $30 to get in anywhere. FUCK THAT.
However, on Saturday night there was one empty bar in the whole city. That bar was Seven. Once again I had a very negative experience there. As usual, I'm wearing a hoodie and I decided I wanted to be Corey Hart so I wore my sunglasses at night. Upon trying to enter Seven, they looked at us and said 'if you're not 25 you're not coming in.' But then they changed their mind and said we could come in, however I had to take off my sunglasses and take off my hoodie and my friends had to take off their hats. Now isn't that a giant load of shit? How does some asshole bouncer get to tell me how I should dress? Seven clearly did not want out business, so why the fuck should we give it to them? I left. I am not going to be in a bar where they tell you what you can and cannot wear, where they act as though you are not good enough to be in the presence of their guests with money (or give the appearance that they have money). They try to market themselves as a "corporate bar." What the fuck does that mean? For all those assholes know I could be a business owner raking in a million dollars a year, but just because I'm not dressed like a complete money grubbing asshole I guess they would never assume that. It is places like Seven that furthur seperate the classes and try to make people feel inferior. Shouldn't we all be kicking it and hanging out together? It is places like that that make guys in suits feel think they're better than the blue collar worker or skate punk or whatever and it's those blue collar workers and skate punks that want to beat the shit out of those guys in suits. Why can't we all just party together? Some days I wish I had a pile of money so I could buy that place and either shut it down or open it up to anyone and everyone, or option 3 is to open a new bar and not let any "corporate types" in but that wouldn't make me any better than they are now would it? It is considered wrong in our society to discriminate based on age, sex or race but why is it ok to discriminate based on income?
I'm also still trying to figure out this crazy little thing called love. I'm still looking for that someone who is worthwhile. Isn't it amazing how love can make you feel on top of the world and it can hurt you so bad that you cry until your eyes get so puffy that you can't see anymore and your heart feels like it's going to explode and you feel like you could puke for days? Someone please explain to me how I got off the track because I'm not feeling good enough these days. People it's true! I sometimes get insecure, though rare, it does happen.
I'm also diggin the new Matt Mays & El Torpedo album "Terminal Romance." Check it out!
Good news, Stampede is OVER for another year. That's a happy thought. However, I loved the Bell Rodeo X, Lance Mosley is one hot man, he looks good on a BMX.... very good.
So I've been relatively angry this week. I hate the Stampede because people are complete fucking assholes during these 10 days. Just because you put on a fucking cowboy hat and a pair of cowboy boots, it does not excuse you from your actions. You are still NOT a cowboy/cowgirl, you just look the part. It is still not ok to drink and drive and it is still not ok to have unprotected sex and it is still not ok to start random fights with people. All this shit seems to happen in excess during these 10 days though. Here's an idea for Stampede 2009, don't be such an asshole.
I also hate the Stampede because every bar is lined up for 10 blocks and it costs $30 to get in anywhere. FUCK THAT.
However, on Saturday night there was one empty bar in the whole city. That bar was Seven. Once again I had a very negative experience there. As usual, I'm wearing a hoodie and I decided I wanted to be Corey Hart so I wore my sunglasses at night. Upon trying to enter Seven, they looked at us and said 'if you're not 25 you're not coming in.' But then they changed their mind and said we could come in, however I had to take off my sunglasses and take off my hoodie and my friends had to take off their hats. Now isn't that a giant load of shit? How does some asshole bouncer get to tell me how I should dress? Seven clearly did not want out business, so why the fuck should we give it to them? I left. I am not going to be in a bar where they tell you what you can and cannot wear, where they act as though you are not good enough to be in the presence of their guests with money (or give the appearance that they have money). They try to market themselves as a "corporate bar." What the fuck does that mean? For all those assholes know I could be a business owner raking in a million dollars a year, but just because I'm not dressed like a complete money grubbing asshole I guess they would never assume that. It is places like Seven that furthur seperate the classes and try to make people feel inferior. Shouldn't we all be kicking it and hanging out together? It is places like that that make guys in suits feel think they're better than the blue collar worker or skate punk or whatever and it's those blue collar workers and skate punks that want to beat the shit out of those guys in suits. Why can't we all just party together? Some days I wish I had a pile of money so I could buy that place and either shut it down or open it up to anyone and everyone, or option 3 is to open a new bar and not let any "corporate types" in but that wouldn't make me any better than they are now would it? It is considered wrong in our society to discriminate based on age, sex or race but why is it ok to discriminate based on income?
I'm also still trying to figure out this crazy little thing called love. I'm still looking for that someone who is worthwhile. Isn't it amazing how love can make you feel on top of the world and it can hurt you so bad that you cry until your eyes get so puffy that you can't see anymore and your heart feels like it's going to explode and you feel like you could puke for days? Someone please explain to me how I got off the track because I'm not feeling good enough these days. People it's true! I sometimes get insecure, though rare, it does happen.
I'm also diggin the new Matt Mays & El Torpedo album "Terminal Romance." Check it out!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
There's a hole in my chest...
Hey Everyone!
I've made the switch. If you want to read my previous twisted thoughts, you can get them at http://www.myspace.com/jennyshithead
But this is now a new era. Hello Blogger.
Here are some recent thoughts to mine....I am hurt, I am angry and I am frustrated. I'm feeling everything that I never want to feel. I suppose that is what makes us human though. The bad feelings will always come with the good. Life isn't gravy all the time and that is something I need to understand.
I hate putting my trust in someone and having them throw it back in my face. So does that mean I should stop trusting people? In my 23 and a half years on this earth I have strived to become the person I am today. I am happy with who I am, but at the same time, all these qualities that I worked so hard at obtaining seem to constantly backfire. Being honest with people seems to cause more trouble than good. In order to live a conflict free life are we supposed to lie to ourselves and those around us to keep the peace? I would hope the answer is no but through my experiences it appears as though the answer is yes. I have a pretty fantastic life and I would say I'm happy 98% of the time, but whenever I have a setback it seems to set me back days, weeks, months or even years. I end up back in the spot that I strived so hard to get out of, that spot where I question my actions and emotions.In my head I know I'm being ridiculous, but in my heart all I feel is this terrible, sad feeling. I don't mean to be all emo, but I can't stop it. I'm still trying to make sense of everything, and I suppose that this again is another learning experience that I will take and turn into a positive in the future.
I am thankful for all the wonderful friends I have, especially that silly wombat fucker on the other side of the world. I love you!
I've made the switch. If you want to read my previous twisted thoughts, you can get them at http://www.myspace.com/jennyshithead
But this is now a new era. Hello Blogger.
Here are some recent thoughts to mine....I am hurt, I am angry and I am frustrated. I'm feeling everything that I never want to feel. I suppose that is what makes us human though. The bad feelings will always come with the good. Life isn't gravy all the time and that is something I need to understand.
I hate putting my trust in someone and having them throw it back in my face. So does that mean I should stop trusting people? In my 23 and a half years on this earth I have strived to become the person I am today. I am happy with who I am, but at the same time, all these qualities that I worked so hard at obtaining seem to constantly backfire. Being honest with people seems to cause more trouble than good. In order to live a conflict free life are we supposed to lie to ourselves and those around us to keep the peace? I would hope the answer is no but through my experiences it appears as though the answer is yes. I have a pretty fantastic life and I would say I'm happy 98% of the time, but whenever I have a setback it seems to set me back days, weeks, months or even years. I end up back in the spot that I strived so hard to get out of, that spot where I question my actions and emotions.In my head I know I'm being ridiculous, but in my heart all I feel is this terrible, sad feeling. I don't mean to be all emo, but I can't stop it. I'm still trying to make sense of everything, and I suppose that this again is another learning experience that I will take and turn into a positive in the future.
I am thankful for all the wonderful friends I have, especially that silly wombat fucker on the other side of the world. I love you!
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