I never felt this love from anyone....

I got tattooed again, this time on my wrists. There is no hiding that one from the moms and the pops... this isn't going to go well. But I love them and I shouldn't have to hide them. I hope that they realize that they've raised a good kid and a silly tattoo doesn't change who I am. I hope they understand that this is just an expression of who I am, this doesn't mean I'm a bad ass gang banger high off my ass all the time. It's funny how different the generations are. I wonder what I'm going to freak out on my kids about. Scarification? Perhaps.... I think it's sick but am I going to think less of my kids that I raised just because of that? Fuck no. Live life with an open mind. Be open to things that are different whether they are different people, different experiences, different beliefs, different anything. I think as long as you're not hurting anyone all is good. Maybe I'm just a selfish asshole? I'm not sure.

I had a wonderful time in Vegas. I could never live there though.

I saw Oasis tonight, I still love them after all these years. Straight business though, they get on and do their shit and get off. But still they've written some beautiful songs:
Let There Be Love
Sunday Morning Call
Song Bird
Don't Look Back In Anger
Stand By Me

Just to name a few....

I've been told by numerous people that I should become a life coach. I've never believed that I had the right to teach anyone how to live their lives. But, the more I think about it the more I think that I should do it. Although the reason is self serving..... I'm so tired of watching people treat each other like shit, I've bitched about it over and over again, so maybe this is how I can get out of my angry little rut.... If I teach people understanding and positivity maybe I can help make this a better world.... or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass again.

In other news.... I think I have a crush on a boy. SHHHH......don't tell anyone.

Bonafide hustler making my name...

I'm going to try hard to break bad habits. I've been told I have lost puppy syndrome. The crazier a guy is, or the more fucked up he is, it makes it harder for me to leave. I'm so busy trying to 'save' them that I end up a little more fucked up at the end of it all. Last night, a friend told me that I just need to date a regular guy. What is a regular guy though? That sounds boring to me, I'm not a regular girl so why would I settle for a regular guy. I need someone who is going to keep up with me if not surpass me in spontaneity at the least. But I need to find someone who is going to put in as much as I do. It's never a give and take with me. I always give and they always take, and nearly everyone I've dated will fully admit to this. Each time it makes it all a little harder for me though. I find myself needing a lot of time to myself as a result, so I don't get sucked into something that is only going to end in heartbreak. He's out there somewhere, luckily I'm in no rush.

I wanna do the things I wanna do, I won't do what you tell me to...

BREAK SHIT.
I have a lot of pent up energy at this moment, perhaps it is a result of my current state of frustration. There are a lot of things I want that I can't get, and I don't mean material things. I want to see some shit and do some shit and meet some good people that aren't complete pieces of shit. If you are a good person that isn't a complete piece of shit that likes doing stuff, send me a message.


Summer has gone by way too fast. I remember being a kid and spending my days playing with the neighbours. This summer has been spent working and going to summer school. I haven't done anything, I haven't gone to camping, I haven't gone out to Kal Lake with the boys (but I think jealous girlfriends may have had something to do with this), I haven't had a summer! But at least I'll be done school in December, this is going to be the best fucking season ever to ride!

I'm missing Oz and I'm missing some beautiful people there. I want last summer back! I love waking up with absolutely no agenda. Should I surf today? Maybe I'll go skydiving, or maybe I'll go scuba diving or maybe I'll walk around talking to random people and meet some of the raddest people ever.

Maybe I should start drinking again. But to be honest I'm having way more fun causing shit while I'm sober than causing shit while I'm a drunk mess. I think being a sober shit disturber is much more effective than being a drunk one.

I gave in and bought an iPhone. I'm so trendy.

Wolfmother and Be Your Own Pet have broken up. Why can't shitty bands like Nickelback and Three Days Grace break up? We are continually flooded by shit. BOYCOTT RADIO.

Sweet bee, show me what you're seeing....

My faith in the world has been restored.... well at least for the time being. I needed some time alone to remember all the wonderful things that this world has to offer. I was spending too much time in places I didn't want to be and with people who I didn't want to be with. I've kept a pretty low profile these past few weeks which is nice. I went to the observatory on Saturday night and it's an absolutely beautiful place. It's secluded and completely dark and away from the city and I could just sit and stare at the stars all night. Who knew one could find it so peaceful to sit and watch large burning balls of gas millions of light years away? It takes me back to about a year ago nearly to the date, I was on a sailboat in Australia called "Spank Me." I remember my first night on the boat, we docked somewhere in the middle of the ocean and I laid down on the front of the boat and stared at the stars for hours. I had never seen anything like it before, with no light pollution in the middle of the ocean I was able to see hundreds and hundreds of stars from the horizon up. I remember laying there, and there was about 20 other people on this sailboat getting as drunk as humanly possible and missing out on the beautiful, simple things our universe has to offer. Maybe I'm just getting older....

I JUST WANT TO SNOWBOARD!! Why won't that beautiful white stuff fall?

I'm ready to experience something new. Even though I love my job, once again, I'm hitting that point where day to day life is mundane, oh how I hate the routine. I've been told I'm always running away, but I disagree, what am I running away from? I'm not stressed, I'm not depressed, I don't really have any issues other than boredom. A girl at work said today that if I was anymore laid back and relaxed I'd probably be dead. I just want to get on a plane and go somewhere new. I want to go to India. I want to eat at all the sketchy (but delicious) street vendors, I want to see the Taj Mahal, I want to make some Indian friends, I want to hang out in Buddhist temples, I want to live life. Unfortunately in order to do these things you need money, and in order to get money I have to work my 8-5 job (which like I mentioned, I do love so it could be worse). Does anyone ever get out of this vicious circle??

I came across an ad the other day for a website called sugardaddies.com. SERIOUSLY. HEY BITCH, GET A FUCKING JOB! Work for what you have, take some fucking pride in it and have some freakin dignity! Unfortunately stupid gold diggers have always been around but now our society condones it. Way to go, you're a prostitute. And hey you dirty old man, are you so busy playing with your money that you don't know what it's like to truly love and care about someone that you have to buy a lady? Honestly, what is becoming of this world?

If you want to listen to some super relaxing tunes, I've been digging Devendra Banhart. Samba Vexillographica and Koreandogwood are beautiful songs.