He's got the kind of love I need, the kind that's never good on me...

I saw Bob Dylan last night. He is so old and so rad. He sang mostly I'm guessing newer blues stuff. Unfortunately I didn't recognize most of it, he didn't play the songs that made him Bob Dylan, but I suppose after 40 some odd years I wouldn't want to perform them anymore either. But either way, he is still awesome and I still love him.

Oh boys, boys and more boys. It's always the same story. Stop boring me, much appreciated.

Listen to the Black Keys.

I think I'm a little bit in love with you... but only if you're a little bit in love with me...

While at school today, I was telling a couple of people about my weekend excursion to Red Deer and how I got kicked out of two bars in less than 10 minutes. One guy asked me why I was so pissed about it, and whether or not I had a shitty childhood and was really mistreated. No.... I can't say that I did or have been. How can one not be frustrated with the way society is these days? We all just kind of accept it, no matter how bad it is, we all turn a blind eye.
If I had gone into either of those bars with a low cut, midriff bearing shirt with the word "whore" written across it would anyone have questioned the way I was dressed? Probably not. Not that I'm offended by that, I think it's retarded, but I think it would be more likely that someone would be more offended by that then me wearing the hood of my hoodie up. I just hate how a girl can go into a bar looking like a trashy piece of shit and get royalty treatment, but if I go in wearing a tshirt and hoodie I get kicked out. Hmmmm..... interesting isn't it?
My question is how come a stupid, scandalous girl gets treated better than me? What is wrong with this society? What is this girl contributing to the world other than the furthering the sterotype that it's ok to expect everything to be handed to you because your tits are falling out? I'm pretty sure that I make a greater worldly contribution in a day then any of these girls can make in their entire lifetime. I hate these people that look down on me because I don't spend 6 hours getting my hair and makeup done everyday. I just don't care. I don't want to be friends with people who are only going to like me because I'm hot and can look down on those less hot. I've been there, I wanted to be that "hot" girl at one point in my life. I spent time on my hair and tried to look like a whore for attention, but then I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror and realized that this was not the person I am. I have busted my ass off for everything I have in this world and I can look at myself and be proud of that. I love who I am today. I will never take shit from anyone and I will always stand up for myself and I can be proud of what I have become and the person I am. The friends I have love me because I'm a ball busting, tough as nails asshole who won't hesitate to rip you apart when you deserve it.
I'm not a parent, but I can't imagine if I had a kid. I would never want to send them to school out of fear that other kids will make fun of them if they're not the prettiest girl or handsomest boy in school. Or worse, I don't want to have that kid that makes fun of the other kids because of how they look or dress.

My heart is slightly bruised again..... but it's still beating so I think it means I'll be ok. One day, I'll find an honest boy..... one day. But at the same time, I want to leave in 7 months, I don't want to fall in love and not go on my trip because I don't want to leave some boy behind. I have this dream where I wake up alone in a tent, get out of my tent and sit on the beach in my own quiet solitude and watch the sun rise. I try to imagine the same scenario with a dude sitting next to me, but it feels wrong. I don't know if it's because I haven't met anyone worthy of that time spent with me, or if I just truly don't want to be part of a twosome right now.

Lovin Lykke Li.

I don't want to be the one making all the noise...

It's 1 am and I'm sitting in my hotel room in Red Deer. I just got myself kicked out of 2 bars, Bellini and Billy Bob's, within the span of about 5 minutes. Once again, the same reason why I get kicked out of bullshit bars in Calgary. I refuse to give in to the dress code. Once again, my hoodie is a problem. How does it make sense that everyone can wear hats and I can't wear my hood? Well of course I'm not about to sit back and take that shit, so naturally I told the bouncer at Bellini what's up, so I left, then we thought we'd go next door to Billy Bob's. I barely got in the door before I got into the bouncer there. The asshole was wearing a cowboy hat and jeans tighter than fuck, but he's allowed to look like a piece of shit and I can't wear my fucking hoodie. FUCK THAT NOISE. This is fucking Red Deer. As if this bullshit isn't bad enough in Calgary, it's spread to little buttfuck towns that want to be the big city. What happened to having a good time for the sake of having a good time. Neither of these bouncers could even give me a good reason as to why I couldn't wear my hood up. They all kept repeating..."It's the dress code..." What the hell? I can't understand it. Fuck this shit. Whatever, I rather hang out in my hotel room listening to some Ting Tings and Stanton Warriors that be out there clenching my fists and biting my tongue and not wearing my hoodie. I WILL NOT TAKE BULLSHIT FROM ANYONE. I refuse to give in to stupid bullshit. It's easy though, those bars are clearly not a good match for me. They don't like me and I don't like them, end of story, I don't need to be there. I don't want to be the one always starting all the shit, but I can't sit there and take it. Evern though most of you may believe it's not a big deal and it's petty, it's not to me. I don't like being told what I can and cannot do by a bunch of pretentious dicks.
DAMN THE MAN!

It's time to leave this town, it's time to steal away.... lets go get lost....

Today I went to KFC (I know, gross but so good at the same time) and there was this woman who was in line in front of me, from the moment she stepped foot into this fine(?) establishment, she was clearly disgruntled, she placed her order and waited. For some reason, chicken took nearly half an hour, I could see her out of the corner of my eye getting progressively pissed over the course of this 30 or so minutes. She starts flippin out on her kids who weren't even being bad, they were just having a couple of laughs amongst themselves. Finally, this woman gets her food, but she starts flippin out on the dude working there asking what took so long, telling them this was unacceptable and just losing it on the unfortunate staff of KFC. I nearly intervened, and yes, I've been told time and time again to mind my own business. I just didn't understand this situation though, understandable, it is frustrating to be waiting that long at a fast food joint. However, yelling isn't going to make the chicken cook faster, shouldn't she be glad that they are ensuring that the chicken her two young children are about to consume is fully cooked? People like that need to learn some patience and understanding. I am nearly 100% confident that the staff at KFC did not sit there for 22 minutes before deciding to cook the damn chicken. LADY, IT WILL COME WHEN IT'S READY! I just hate people who flip out on other people for things that are not necessarily in their control. Just think about that next time you yell at someone working in the service industry, it sucks so please be nice. To be fair sometimes it is the person helping you out that is being a dick, then by all means, fair game. But if they're nice and things are out of their control please don't be an asshole.

I saw Steve Aoki last night, absolutely amazing. I also got fairly wasted for the first time in a long time. I remember why I broke up with Jack Daniels ages ago.

Where I go, I just don't know... I might end up somewhere in Mexico....

I've had a very long exhausting week.
I just want a hug.
A nice warm loving hug from nice warm loving lover.

...And the DJ put on our favourite song, and we danced beneath the lights...

I just hate being lied to.
Where have all the real people gone?
I need someone genuine.
I hate people who can't get their shit together so they ride on my coat tails and end up fucking me over in the end.
Talk is cheap. It always has been and it always will be.
I love the fact that you truly believe that you're not like the "rest of them" but you are. In fact you may be worse....
Actions speak louder than words, and your actions are not in line with your words.
Please don't waste anymore of my time.
You're done.

You disappeared, and now my eyes are filled with tears and I'm wishing you were here with me....

I've been bitching a lot lately. I've been bitching about how much I want to leave and get started travelling. I've been such a hypocrite, I always preach how you need to make the best of any situation and take life one day at a time. Here I am begging for the days to pass so I can be on my way. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with looking forward to something and being excited for it. However, I'm not enjoying THIS moment. I'm not living in this moment, and I'm not living each day as it comes. I'm anticipating the passing of this moment. I'm going to start making the best of this situation. I have some amazing friends and I've had some amazing experiences here so I should make the most of it because I'm sure I'm going to miss it to some extent once I'm having my worldwide adventure. I'm going to erase these negative feelings I've been feeling... tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to get back to my positive attitude. Besides, the snow will soon fall and I'll be shredding the gnar like nobody's business on my new Rome Vinyl. STOKED.

The other day I was at Eastside Mario's and Sukiyaki by 4PM came on and I completely forgot had rad this song is. I managed to track down the original Japanese version as well by Kyu Sakamoto, it's so good. Get it if you can find it!

We think you're a joke, shove your,..... where it don't shine....

Does anyone else have a strong desire to go up to a random stranger, shake their hand and congratulate them on officially being the biggest douchebag ever? I hate this city, it's full of pretentious pricks. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.

I wish it was either November, because then I could go snowboarding, or that it was May and I was enroute to Thailand or a country in that area.

I need a second job.... even though I know it's going to be a guarantee burnout, I'll be laughing this time next year when I'm surfing in Bali? Possibly? Or living in a treehouse in Laos? Living in a tent on a beach on some Thai island? Who the hell knows, all I know is that I won't be here in oil rich Alberta, or to some the promised land? The only thing that is promised here is guarantees of douchebaggery.

If you're a painter, please paint me a skate deck. I would love that thanks.

Does anyone else ever wonder if Billy Ray Cyrus is a dick in real life? My guess is yes.