It's funny how dependent I've become on the shred. I didn't ride all weekend and I pretty much sat around all bummed out wishing I was on a snowy mountain somewhere. It's like a drug.
I think I've realized why I'm so perfectly ok with being single. Being single is easy. Being in a relationship is hard and either I'm not ready to deal with it or I'm just plain lazy, I'm not sure. I always say I'm single because nobody is interested, and perhaps I'm being a cocky pile of crap but that's not true either. I sat alone in my room today not shradding and I could just hear my phone beeping, texts from dudes that actually want to spend time with me...... weird, I know. But I find myself most attracted to men I can't have, and I don't mean married dudes or anything like that. I mean men that are emotionally and mentally unstable to some degree. So in short, crazy dudes. But why is this? Well if I can't have them then I never have to deal with the stresses that come with being with someone and the potential heartbreak. I've had my heart broken before and I can't say I'm a fan. I think I've just become concious of this. It's actually pretty fucked up. There are some very very sweet dudes that are fairly interested in me I suppose, good looking wonderful dudes. But I'm far from interested. Or maybe I'm crazy and I'm trying to find some excuse as to why I wouldn't want to be with such wonderful people. Or maybe my tired brain is finally starting to lose it.
I love the song Revival by Soulsavers. I first heard it in "That's It That's All" and everytime I hear it I think of Travis Rice and shredtastic shreddies. But it's a beautiful song, check it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment